Blog entry by Ivan Susanov

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by Ivan Susanov - Friday, 5 April 2019, 10:36 PM
Anyone in the world

When it comes to breakups, cliché breakup lines have become known as such because they are essentially used ad nauseum.

Save for the occasional, “kissing you felt like I was kissing my brother”, more often than not, we tend to use some really insulting cliché breakup line to give someone the heave ho and alleviate our own guilt.

Here are 10 cliché breakup lines that were sent in the most by readers with explanations regarding what led to them.

Cliché breakup lines #10

It’s not you, it’s me

Erica, 33, wrote: After all these years in which this phrase has been used, and how everyone and their mother has heard it before, my ex boyfriend sprung this crap on me after we had been dating for about 4 months.

He explained that he was in a weird place and that although he really did like me, he just couldn’t wrap his brain around a relationship right now. Oh well, at least I got all his CDs. He forgot them at my place and I never answered the phone again when he called.

Translation: It’s you. I don’t like you in that way.

Cliché breakup lines #9

I’m too f*cked up for you

Joanne, 27, writes: I was dating a badass for a few months and the sex was just second to none. He was an amazing lover and I didn’t have a lot of experience.

Anyway, after a while, he decided that being with one woman just wasn’t good for him and made it seem like he was just not good for me. He was probably right, so I didn’t get offended by it.

But I have too many friends who tell me that guys who are pretty vanilla use this same lyric, so it’s funny.

Translation: I want to sleep with many more people without the burden of you being around.

Cliché breakup lines #8

I think we’re just meant to be friends

Sal, 36, wrote: I was dating this great girl that I couldn’t believe I landed. But I finally got up the balls to ask her out. After our third date, we had sex, and it was all kinds of terrible.

Needless to say, she hit me with the “friends” bit and I knew it was because we just didn’t hit it off in bed as well. But when she uttered these words, I rolled my eyes. By the way, we’re not friends.

Translation: You don’t excite me in a sexual way at all.

Cliché breakup lines #7

I’m just not ready for a serious relationship

Telly, 30, wrote: Back when I was still a “nice guy,” a girl I was dating gave me the “I’m not ready for anything serious” speech. Lo and behold, she was married less than a year later.

I’m pretty sure she dumped me for the other guy, but to use that lyric and then marry someone else in a year was just ridiculous. Don’t you agree?

Translation: I don’t want to have a serious relationship with you.

Cliché breakup lines #6

You’re going to make someone really happy someday

Sonia, 22, wrote: I knew that my ex boyfriend was never going to end up being my husband because we were both young and he was eager to sow his wild oats, but when he told me that I would make someone else incredibly happy in the future, I barfed a little in my mouth.

I later heard from his friends that he thought I was the most annoying woman ever and that he only used that line because he really believed the opposite. He thought it was so clever.

Translation: You’re going to be alone forever.

Cliché breakup lines #5

You’re too nice

Dean, 34, wrote: I never really considered myself a “nice” guy, but I do respect women and treat them with the utmost respect, so when I got dumped for being too nice, you can imagine that I didn’t take it very well.

I apologized to my then girlfriend for not having smacked her around and calling her whore when we argued, and told her that I hope she gets what she thinks she wants. Hmm, I wonder whatever happened to her…

Translation: I have absolutely no sexual feelings for you.

Cliché breakup lines #4

I need my space

Rosa, 27, wrote: When I was in my early 20s, I heard this from 3 different guys. First I thought that they had all spoken to each other, then I realized that it had to be me. Not only did I sleep with them too early, I smothered them after that.

I quickly learned that in order to keep a man interested, give him some, not all, and always act aloof. Guys love a challenge. I guess the third time was a charm…

Translation: I f*cked you, now go away.

Cliché breakup lines #3

I think you’re settling for me

Ariana, 37, wrote: When my boyfriend of 6 years received my ultimatum, he opted to walk away from us and used this line to make it seem like I was the one who was really initiating the breakup. I guess when you present a man with an ultimatum, there’s a good chance he’s going to run in the other direction.

My friends told me that if he didn’t propose after 2 years, there was a good chance he just wasn’t interested in marrying me. They were right. In hindsight though, he was right. I spent so much time trying to change him that it was obvious that he was not the man I wanted.

Translation: I am never going to marry you, so why bother.

Cliché breakup lines #2

You deserve better

Gina, 26, wrote: After going on 3 dates with this one guy, he sprung this line on me and I was taken aback. I actually was turned on by what he said and insisted that I didn’t deserve better.

He proceeded to treat me like complete crap and I put up with it for a while. When I called him on it after 2 months, he said “I told you so.” Wow, did I ever feel like a jackass.

Translation: If you stick around, I will treat you like crap and won’t feel guilty about it because I warned you.

Cliché breakup lines #1

I love you, but I’m not IN love with you

Stacey, 31, wrote: I am actually the guilty one here. I used this on a guy I dated for 6 years. We had never once had an argument, so, as you can imagine, I had a ton of pent up resentment.

When I finally used this on him, he actually started crying and asked what he can do to change my mind. I made it clear that I still loved him but didn’t want a romantic involvement. I sealed the nail in the coffin when he came in to kiss my cheek and I backed away. Really, he grossed me out by this point.

Translation: I am thisclose to being repulsed by you.

Have you used cliché breakup lines?

No matter how many years go by, these tried and true cliché breakup lines never get old and people continue to use them. Are you guilty of using any?