Blog entry by Ivan Susanov

Anyone in the world

Here are the six major factors that can kill a relationship before it starts:

1. Neediness
This comes down to not validating yourself – internally. Although I’m guilty of having my own core-confidence and self-worth issues being needy isn’t a problem for me. I’m so used to being single and independent that I’m the complete opposite of needy. I’m used to doing everything on my own, the idea of  ’needing’ someone else to do is foreign to me.

2. Competitiveness
This one comes down to always feeling the need for ‘one upmanship’. Once again, this isn’t something I have a problem with. I’m quite a chilled out person so being unnecessarily competitive isn’t something that’s in my DNA.

3. Laziness
Possessing the tendency to coast. Being more about ‘waiting’ rather than ‘creating’. I may be a little guilty of coasting and not creating within some aspects of my life but I don’t think its a reason none of my relationships have worked out. None of the guys have hung around long enough for this to be an issue!

4. Taking A Backseat
I can see how putting the other person first would be easy to do when smitten with someone, especially in the early stages when you want to make a good impression but, I don’t think this is something I’m guilty of. I am a considerate person generally,  but I’m definitely not the doormat type.

5. Jealousy
This is a biggie. Jealousy shows insecurity and neediness, neither of which are very attractive. I’m a Scorpio and we’re supposed to jealous by nature, but I do think as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten better at controlling (hiding) it. I’m not a raving made jealous person, but to a small extent, its there whether its being jealous of Halle Berry’s amazing figure or being jealous that some people find relationships so easily, its there.

6. Over-analysis
This is one I’m guilty of, BIG TIME. However, I don’t know many women who don’t over-analyse when it comes to dealing with a man they like? Over analysing is linked to insecurity, so like with jealousy above I think I’ve managed to master controlling/hiding it. The key is to appear bright, breezy and fabulous on the outside and over-analyse to your hearts content in your head or over a cocktail with your girlfriends!

Although there were a few things I could relate to I didn’t feel the six factors shed any light on the conundrum of my eternal singledom. I’m not perfect, but nobody is. Having flaws hasn’t stopped others from having had relationships in the past, so unfortunately I’m still none the wiser.

What about you? Are you guilty of any of the ‘relationship killers’?

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